Harsh days happy nights

I leave on tuesday;;
Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The fact that i think my family isn't happy to see me saddens me & the fact that i feel like i'm losing my best friend breaks my heart but i keep a smile on my face the show must go on.....

"Jeffy": i do and i miss you terribly
me: i miss you to soo much =(
"Jeffy": im sorry im difficult and stress you
me: is okay jeffy peanut butter
"Jeffy": ill promise to treat you right
"Jeffy": like you deserved to be treated

Were such fags i know..
to bad he's leaving me =/

gotta work for what you want,,,,

Well, if you know me well enough you would know that my dream, my goal in life was/is to be a model and lately ive been slacking ive gotten very discouraged ive been through alot because ofeverything ive done to acheive my goal and im still not there.

Recently an agent i had passed away, and even though we had our differences i have alot to thank him, he showed me alot of things i needed to know he helped me shape my backbone and im really greatfull for that im going to miss you doc..

So ive decided to get back on my shit is not going to be easy but im gonna do it, most of you guys havent seen my walk, but those who have know the deal ;-] i show them how its done the only thing im confident about for the most part, its like im two different people wish me luck guys <3

Listen to this.

Its august 3rd && im leaving to D.R in a few days im happy to get away!

im going to miss my doggie dearly =(

Cold Hearted bitter bitch its all an act because everyone has a heart but i can sure play the part well when i have to, its so crazy now a days because instead of showing feelings i find better ways on hiding them deeper and deeper, you can hurt me but you'll never get the pleasure of knowing you did so, and blahh all the bull take risk go for it whats the point if the hints are clear?

Guys now are just "so when you coming over?"

what happened to the "dates"? movies -_____-

& i dont always blame the guys because some girls make the mistakes of thinking that if you fuck a guy you like right away you'll have him to keep, they'll never admitt that tho they'll hit with the "ooh i dont care he was just a fuck anyway" but at the end of the day she'll be bitter because she wanted something real all along...

just a few ramblings i have in my brain, so my birthday is on its way im looking foward to a bugg out with my friends and imma start my tatoo process, put piercings on hold i think i have enough for now =]......

=][=

It was an awsome night, party hopping with my girls!!

i wanna thank jajie && tashy for pullingdown my skirt when it was needed <3

Soooo, we started of at this bachelor party/party the guys there were so awsome && respectfulnot to mention all the free grey goose && bud :D..

Then we headed off to matt's shit which was oh so poppin aswell dancehall queen right herecouldent stop dancing smh

Hoesz;;I love you punk :]

Kat is a boost && this pic is hilarious

Studda budda!! =]

Jenn && me got it in all night ;-]

Dilians dress was oh so poppin

Iloveher

We was beyond SMACKEDD..

Very much needed night :-]

THE END;

What is it that i want <3..

For the first time in a very long time i feel myself wanting a relationship someone, i can bond with && create a connection with,but i want it all to be real i hate all this fake love bullshit -_- it blows mines how theres guys you'll meet that will dead confess a whole love confession to you when, they've only known you for about 2 days, i hate all that, && im tired of all the fucking around like its fun and all but at the end of the day your still alone, a mess around is not gonna take you out or listen to your bullshit problems non the less care about enough BLAHHHHHHHHHH; im just trying to find something i feel satisfied with.

mom....

Dear mother,

all i ive ever wanted was your unconditional love all i wanted was to hear an "iloveyou", "im proud of you" but all i hear is your disapointments towards me, i know i havent been the best of the best, but IM YOUR DAUGHTER i know you have no reason to be proud of me && all ive done is make things worse, and made you cry believe me making you cry is the most hurtful thing ive seen but im trying! im trying mom im trying to make it better im trying so hard for you to see, that i need your affection i need your support as much as i try to brush it off like i dont care all i end up doing is, crying i crave affection from you i always have why is that so hard?

Interesting conclusion

&& you'd think there the ones who would guard him when your not there....

but no, they wanna wait until you turn your back and take what you have, or want or desire with no remorse in there veins.
&& yet they call you a "friend" i want you to tell me whats the definition of a friend? because i may be mistaken but i feel like i can leave a "friend" in the same room with something i value && trust them not to take it...


Maybe im exagerating so be it!
you feel what you feel i'm simply fed up with it...

"there's so many fish in the sea why take the ones that have already been caught"
-__________________________________________-

*This is why trust becomes such an issue sometimes*